Nice Weather

Hal is petrified of girls, so he asks his friend Lenny how he meets so many nice chicks.

Lenny says, "I have a surefire method to feel them out. I go up behind a girl and whisper, 'Tickle your arse with a feather?' And when she of course turns around and asks me what I said, I say, 'Particularly nice weather.' If she smiles or laughs, I know she has a sense of humor, we chat, and it all follows naturally. Try it."

The next night, nervous but desperate, Hal goes to a very crowded bar, and sits in the corner, stewing, nursing a drink, getting more uptight every second. Finally, he walks up behind the nicest looking girl in the place, and after a few minutes of stammering, blurts out so everyone can hear, "Stick my finger in your arse?"

She turns and says, "What?!?"

He says, "Look at the bloody rain."